Insights & Inspiration
In our fast-paced world, finding moments of solace and self-reflection has become more crucial than ever. One timeless practice that has withstood the test of time is journaling. Journaling is a powerful practice that involves recording your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and reflections in a written format. Using various art forms, one can also capture these in a visually engaging and expressive way.
How often do we listen to another person with our ears, eyes, and hearts to utterly understand? Most of us would have to admit, “Not very often.”
The most profound need of the human heart is to be understood – to be valued and respected as unique. People want to be understood. They want to feel that what they think, feel, and have to say matters to others.
In our hectic, fast-paced world, finding someone who will slow down enough to give undivided attention to another is often difficult. And yet, undivided attention is precisely what's required if we truly desire to understand. Beyond the words spoken, the speaker conveys messages via non-verbal communication – messages that will escape us if we are not intent on receiving them.
It’s a great tragedy to be alive and not know why you are. I believe if you are alive today, there is a purpose for you to be. Unfortunately, it's possible to be physically alive and living like the walking dead. It is essential to know what you were born to be and do if you are to have a vibrant life that excites you.
When it comes to commitment, people tend to cop out, drop out, hold out, sell out, or go all out. For a leader, commitment is essential. Great leaders cannot afford to cop, drop, hold, or sell out. If one aspires to leadership, she must evaluate her willingness to commit to people, a cause, or a purpose. She must question whether she is willing to go all out.
What one thing could you do but aren't doing now that, if you regularly did, would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life? It's worth recording your answer.
To be authentic means to be true to your original creation and your personality, spirit, and character. To be a genuine and authentic leader, you cannot be anyone but yourself. You can learn from leaders' experiences, but you cannot be just like them. Even if you were successful at being like another leader, you'd only be an imitation.
Someone asked Gandhi’s secretary, "What's Gandhi like when he's not in front of people?” He said, “You don’t understand Gandhi. What he thinks is what he feels. What he feels is what he says. And what he says is what he does. What Gandhi thinks, what he feels, what he says, and what he does are all the same.”
Leadership is the reservoir of all the life experiences that shape you as a person and leader. Your experiences are not separate events but parts that make up your life story. Your story is your heritage. It is what makes you unique. If you embrace it, your leadership becomes more authentic. And dynamic.
“Our lives are made of story; stories handed down from our parents, stories we have created out of our experience, stories about our loves, our work, our explorations, our joys, our disappointments, our learnings – the soul’s story. Creating story, we create and re-create ourselves, finding our sacred place in the world of human dreams and achievements on the green earth we inhabit with our fellow human beings.” (Susan Wittig Albert)
Storytelling has become a buzzword because stories are powerful. They are the most powerful form of influence and persuasion. Stories build credibility and trust while creating deep connections with the storyteller. Therefore, learning to tell your story is an important skill to develop. Hone and frame your story to be the most compelling.
Imagine a garden lush with vibrant flowers and towering trees, each plant nurtured by the tender care of a loving gardener. Yet, amidst this picturesque scene lies a neglected corner, overgrown with weeds and tangled vines, where a forgotten seedling struggles to survive.
This neglected corner of the garden is akin to the lost child within each of us – a fragile, wounded aspect of us longing to be rediscovered and nurtured. As the gardener of our soul, it is our sacred duty to tend to this neglected corner, to unearth the buried seedling and shower it with love and attention.
For within the depths of this forgotten corner lies the essence of our authentic selves – the pure, unfiltered innocence of childhood, untainted by the world's harsh realities. Our deepest wounds reside here, the scars of past traumas etched into the very fabric of our being.
For in every adult, there dwells the child that was, and in every child, there lies the adult that will be. ~ John Connolly
"It's hard to be humble," says an old country song, "when you're perfect in every way." Of course, most people don't really think they are perfect.
Humility, an essential quality of an outstanding person, is not a sign of weakness, as some suppose. Quite the opposite, it quietly reflects strength, self-awareness, and confidence. Humility involves recognizing our limitations, vulnerabilities, and imperfections without diminishing our self-worth. Instead, it affirms the dignity and inherent worth of all persons. It translates to knowing, accepting, and being who you are while demonstrating modesty about your accomplishments and gifts, admitting mistakes, and valuing others for who they are and their contributions.
Awareness of our imperfections often drives us to pretend we are more than we are. Far too influenced by what others think we are proud when praised and discouraged when criticized. We constantly attempt to prove that we are valuable and worthy individuals who deserve credit, appreciation, and recognition, sometimes even pretending to be humble. That is just another form of pride. The focus is still on the self. We seldom fool people for long. Admittedly, it is challenging to be humble in a society that celebrates self-promotion and individualism, which are too often expressed as aggression, arrogance, boastfulness, and pride.
A new year, rich with the promise of new beginnings, has arrived! Don’t we all love the idea of new beginnings?!? A new year brings a sense of anticipation and the possibility of creating the lives we desire. It is an opportunity to look back to where we have been and to look ahead to what we hope to become, accomplish, or achieve. As you set goals and plan for a new year, I encourage you to base them on your personal values to make them the most effective and enduring.
Whether ethical or moral, religious, political, cultural, social, or aesthetic, they are elements deep within us we consider meaningful. They are those things that matter most to us - the ideas and beliefs we hold as special.
Each of us has a core set of highly personal and diverse values. Values such as integrity, discipline, spirituality, responsibility, communion with nature, purpose, excellence, accountability, solitude, courage, and wisdom are just a few. They influence everything we say, do, or believe, whether we are consciously aware of their influence.
Which values do you embrace?
With our world in a constant state of exponential change, we face new challenges daily. However, for every challenge and choice confronting us, a principle applies.
Principles are profound, fundamental truths derived from universal law. They are a proven guide to thinking and action and govern personal growth, ethical behavior, and meaningful relationships.
Like the law of gravity, principles work 24/7, the same for everyone everywhere. It doesn’t matter if you understand or agree with them; they are immutable and as predictable as night and day. Not influenced by temporary trends or fleeting emotions, they reflect core values that withstand changing situations. We build an enduring and stable foundation when we center our lives on them.
An example of a universal principle is the law of sowing and reaping. While applying this law may be most apparent in the natural realm, i.e., if you plant tomato seeds, you will reap tomatoes – not corn, it also operates in the spiritual realm. It determines the quality of your health, finances, relationships, career, and every other area of your life. To ignore it is to do so at your own risk.
Graveyards are filled with potential! Graveyards are filled with people who have died, never really knowing why they lived or what they were to do while they were here. These people could have made better use of their abilities, possibilities, and opportunities. They could have become the best they could be.
“Potential is dormant ability, reserved power, untapped strength, unused success, hidden talents, and capped capability. It is all you can be but have not yet become; all you can do but have not yet done; how far you can reach but have not yet reached; what you can accomplish but have not yet accomplished. Potential is unexposed ability and latent power. In other words, what you see is not all there is. That is potential. Not what is but what could be!” (Dr. Myles Munroe)
I like that quote! It inspires me! I can become so much more than I have so far become. There are many things I can do; perhaps I have not tried yet. It excites me to realize I can reach farther and accomplish more than I have.
This realization adds a powerful dynamic to the present. It's a reason to face each new day with anticipation.
Being proactive means being responsible for our own lives and taking the initiative to make things happen. We engineer our events or create new circumstances.
Proactivity involves anticipating situations or problems before discovering and preparing solutions. Proactive people are always looking for solutions – ways to tackle the obstacles and make them work for them, not against them. They embrace challenges and take calculated risks. They choose not to wait around for life to happen to them.
Proactivity also involves being a part of the solution rather than the problem itself. Instead of reacting, we realize we have the power to decide how we will act. Responsibility is simply choosing how we will respond to what life throws at us. How we get through life is only 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we choose to deal with it. When we honestly say with conviction, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," we act responsibly.
Self-discipline is the key to success. Yet when I hear that word, I sometimes cringe. It reminds me of the many good intentions I have not yet realized, such as exercising regularly without fail. Perhaps you are disciplined in some areas and undisciplined in others. It's too easy to be weighed down by everything we think we "should" do. We may have a problem in certain areas because we are trying to accomplish something we don't truly identify with or desire.
We could have burdened ourselves with things others think we "should" do. But let's neither lose heart and become discouraged nor make light of the importance of self-discipline. Life often presents challenges and problems on the path to success and achievement. To rise above them, you must act with perseverance and persistence, which requires self-discipline.
In the deepest recesses of our hearts, we each long for intimacy, that special connectedness with another human being who says, "Hey, I like you!" Without someone to walk hand-in-hand, our days can seem long and lonely. Home alone, it's often difficult to believe for brighter days, but they will come. Be assured that someone is looking for you. Someone needs your love and the healing it can bring.
Loneliness—that feeling of being alone or cut off from others—has always plagued man, but our fast-paced, ever-changing world magnifies and intensifies the pain associated with it. Even as our world continues to shrink through massive and sophisticated communication systems, people feel ironically isolated. We can communicate in real-time with people around the globe. Yet, a sense of community and closeness with others eludes us.
As uncomfortable or painful as loneliness may be, it is not necessarily bad.
Do you yearn to have a more lasting impact on the world? Do you have a dream or mission that you wish to accomplish?
Your ability to experience fulfillment and personal satisfaction will be limited only by your ability to grasp the meaning and the purpose of your life. To do so, you must be on good terms with your heart. By listening to your heart, you can discover what makes you unique and what contributions you are to make in life. There is something that you are meant to do that no one can do in exactly the same way that you can, because there is not another you! You are here for a purpose; your purpose is your passion. You were created for greatness!
Victor Frankl said, “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life…. Therein, he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”
John Maxwell states, “God uniquely creates men (and women) for a specific mission in life, and that assignment needs to be identified and celebrated.” The challenge is to make the biggest impact we can – both for ourselves and for others. Therefore, once we know what our purpose is, we need to optimize it.
As we plan and project into the future, it helps to begin with the end, the destination, in mind. And the most effective way to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement, a statement that will both function as a source of inspiration and be worthy of our deepest commitment.
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE
Although I experienced loneliness as a child and adolescent grappling with life transitions and questions of identity, until recently, I'd not considered myself a "lonely" person. I'd intentionally spent time alone reflecting, praying, creating, learning, and studying. I embrace and cherish solitude. I love being removed from distractions and in the zone to do work I value. However, in the past year, it occurred to me that I'd sacrificed intimate relationships in pursuing my life calling. I saw myself alone walking the streets in various cities of the world. That was no longer acceptable! I desired to share life with someone who shares my spiritual beliefs and values, someone with whom I could connect on a deep, spiritual level, like we share the same spiritual DNA.
Just two weeks later, my daughter Hannah, without knowing what I was feeling, suggested she enroll me in a dating site for Christians. What an experience that has been! More than ever, I see lonely people looking for someone special to share life with. Truthfully, it pains me to see their faces and hear the cries of their hearts.
I'm reminded of song lyrics by the Beatles:
Ah, look at all the lonely people. Where do they all come from? All the lonely people. Where do they all belong?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12:30-31
Self-love is often misunderstood in Christian circles. However, the Bible speaks of loving our neighbors as ourselves, implying a healthy self-love. It isn't about pride or vanity but respecting ourselves as creations of God, worthy of love, care, and respect.
When we lack healthy love for ourselves as God's unique creations, we find it difficult to love others even when we try to. We simply cannot give others what we don't possess in ourselves.
It's important to note that self-love doesn't mean being selfish or narcissistic. While both involve a focus on oneself, they manifest in very different ways and have different impacts on one's relationships and overall well-being. Healthy self-love is about finding a balance between caring for yourself and caring for others.
If you find it challenging to love yourself, you have probably fallen into the trap of believing lies about yourself. You've convinced yourself that you are not enough, you're invisible, you're alone, you're guilty, you're a failure. You feel too broken or damaged to be genuinely loved, reinforcing a sense of being unwanted or unworthy; therefore, you see yourself as unlovable, insignificant, or not valuable. Those are lies! We must realize with every ounce of our being that we are indeed worthy and loveable! Exactly as we are! Right now, in this present moment!
Cultivating self-love is an empowering journey that takes time and requires a change of identity to align with how God sees us. It is a transformative process that, when practiced with self-compassion, acknowledging our worth, and treating ourselves with kindness and respect, can lead to a profound change in our lives.
Why is this important? Most importantly, in doing so, we honor God, who says we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Understanding our value in God's eyes and nurturing a loving relationship with ourselves can deepen our relationship with God, fostering a sense of spiritual connection and intimacy.
Secondly, when we learn to love and respect ourselves, we can better love others. Taking care of our emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being equips us to serve others more fully. When we are depleted, it's challenging to pour into others. Self-love ensures we're in a place to serve from fullness rather than emptiness, reinforcing our value and importance in the service of others.
Self-love is not a detour from our faith but a critical part of living fully and authentically as God intended. Many people, especially women, feel guilty when they take time for themselves. Guilt has no place in self-care rooted in God's love. It's okay to prioritize time for physical rest, spiritual renewal, and emotional wellness. Jesus often took time to pray, rest, and be alone. This was not out of selfishness but wisdom, showing us that intentional self-care can be essential to fulfilling our purpose.
Other aspects of self-love involve setting boundaries, developing resilience, personal growth, and better physical health.
When you love yourself, you establish healthy boundaries and standards for how you should be treated. This makes forming and maintaining healthy relationships easier, as you won't tolerate mistreatment or settle for less than you deserve. While you can prioritize your well-being, you also respect the boundaries of others.
People who love themselves are better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks. They tend to have greater resilience and can bounce back from difficult situations more effectively. Also, when you love yourself and prioritize your well-being, you're less likely to engage in negative self-talk or ruminate on your problems.
Healthy self-love involves having a balanced perspective of yourself. Loving yourself means acknowledging both your strengths and areas for improvement. This self-awareness fosters personal growth and a willingness to learn and develop. You recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and you accept both without excessive arrogance and self-deprecation.
All this contributes to spiritual, mental, and emotional health and produces better physical health. When we don't love ourselves, we don't care for ourselves. We tend to cling to unhealthy habits that we know are destroying us. Yet, we seem powerless to break the destructive cycles. It's as though we are punishing ourselves for just being! We subconsciously tend to avoid those things we truly need because we convince ourselves we don't deserve them. If we could truly see ourselves as God sees us, we would tenderly cherish and care for ourselves in healthy ways.
The cycles must be broken to live a happy, joy-filled life. God is on your side. He loves you more than you can imagine! He declares you are worthy! You are loveable and deserve to be loved! You are His vessel to spread love to others. After loving Him, you must love yourself. Self-love is not selfish!
God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I'm walking on, and lead me back to your glorious ways- the path that brings me back to you. Psalm 139: 23-24 (TPT)
Books by Bev
MY JOURNEY IN THE DARKNESS: HAITI THROUGH MY EYES
Journey with Bev through New Orleans, San Francisco, New York, and the Caribbean–destination Haiti, where she experiences darkness on a new level.
Writing from a place of transparency and vulnerability, Beverly shares her story beginning in San Francisco at the height of the hippie movement. During a near-death experience caused by a drug overdose, the Lord Jesus appeared to her, instantly changing her.
Sent by God on a mission, in 1989, Bev arrived in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, wounded, betrayed, rejected, and ashamed after the breakup of a 20-year marriage. Thrown into a new culture, civil unrest, and suffering humanity, she and her two young daughters must learn at the feet of the Haitian people to survive daily challenges and lurking dangers while navigating the strange, dark, spiritual unknown.
Rich with historical highlights, current events, and cultural detail, Bev so vividly paints the beauty of Haiti and her people alongside the deep roots of darkness that have held many of these beautiful people in spiritual chains.
In My Journey in the Darkness, readers discover God walks with us through the deepest, darkest valleys and transports us to mountaintops.
EMERGING OUT OF THE DARKNESS: A MISSIONARY STORY
When a good or a great person's life comes to its final sunset, the skies of this world are illuminated until long after he is out of view. Such a person does not die from this world, for when he departs, he leaves much of himself behind, and being dead, he still speaks. Henry Ward Beecher
Emerging Out of the Darkness: A Missionary Story is set in Jacmel, Haiti, and covers thirteen years of Beverly's decades-long missionary journeys. Beverly invites you into her life, living among her adopted people in an underdeveloped, impoverished, and politically unstable nation with persistent social inequalities and danger and little access to education, health care, potable water, and electricity. She shares remarkable adventures – an earthquake, back-to-back mega-hurricanes, voodoo curses, zombies, bandits in the dark of night, PTSD, kidnappings, political manifestations, gangs, supernatural occurrences, child slaves, bugs, plagues, and tropical diseases.
She portrays intimate insight into Haiti, her people, culture, and current events while liberally sharing accounts of God's faithfulness and miraculous acts amid spiritual darkness and constant, often catastrophic chaos. This book, along with her previous one, My Journey in the Darkness: Haiti Through My Eyes, are excellent educational, entertaining, and inspirational reads for anyone who desires to broaden their cross-cultural knowledge and understanding or reach people outside the scope of their personal world experiences. Emerging Out of the Darkness is spiritually rich and a testimony to God's divine protection and provision.